Romance scams: how online relationships turn into requests for money

An online sweetheart you've never met in person needs money, or wants to teach you to invest.

Could you spot it?

2 quick examples. Decide scam or legit for each.

How it works

They find you on a dating app or social media and move the chat to a private messaging app. They're attentive and consistent for weeks. They can't video call or meet because they're overseas, on an oil rig or deployed. Then there's an emergency, a customs fee, a plane ticket, or a crypto opportunity they want to share.

AI now writes their messages around the clock and can fake photos and even short video calls.

Red flags

What it looks like

For six weeks you've been chatting every day with Daniel, who you met on a dating app. He's an engineer on an offshore oil rig. You've never met or video called.

Chat message · Daniel (moved the chat to WhatsApp)
Good morning my love ☀️ I dreamed about our first dinner together again. Only 3 more weeks on this rig and I'm on a plane to you.
I hate to even ask this. My equipment is stuck in customs and they won't release it without a $4,800 fee. My accounts are frozen until I'm back on land. Could you help me with it? I'll repay you the moment I land, I promise. You're the only person I trust.

The tells:

  1. Always far away, so you can never meet.
  2. A sudden money problem with a specific amount.
  3. Flattery and trust, right before the ask.

A training example written for this site. Names, numbers and links are made up, and links are disabled.

What to do

  1. Never send money or crypto to someone you haven't met in person.
  2. Search their photos with a reverse image search.
  3. Talk to a friend or family member about the relationship.

If you already paid or shared information

  1. Contact the company you used to pay (your bank, card company, gift card company, payment app or wire service) right away and ask them to reverse the payment.
  2. If you shared a password, change it now and turn on two-factor authentication.
  3. If you gave out your Social Security number or other ID details, go to IdentityTheft.gov for a recovery plan.
  4. Report it to the FTC at ReportFraud.ftc.gov. For scams that happened online, you can also report to the FBI at ic3.gov.

From FTC: What to do if you were scammed.

Latest alerts about this scam

No recent FTC, CISA or FBI alerts are tagged with this scam. The guidance below still applies.

Sources

Know someone who should see this?

Send them this page. It takes two minutes to read.

Text itEmail itWhatsApp

Related scams

“Wrong number” texts and crypto tips

A friendly text “to the wrong number” turns into a friendship, then an investment tip.

Job offer texts and task scams

An unsolicited job offer for easy online “tasks” that ends with you depositing money to unlock your earnings.

Fake checks and overpayments

A buyer or employer “accidentally” pays too much and asks you to send the difference back.

Take the full 10-message test